Having my first day off Elvanse.
Plan is all about self care. Avoid stressful stuff. If there is ANY hint of pushback against anything that needs doing, then I will make it a problem for future Sarah.
I feel like there’s a lot of reverse ableism with people telling me that the REAL problem with ADHD is that I am “traumatised” by a world that isn’t adapted to my needs and that were it not for this “trauma”, I would be able to function just fine.
If it’s trauma, why does a single pill that raises my dopamine levels switch it off like a light switch and turn me into an emotionally stable adult with executive function?
I had a shower and thought more (as you do) and maybe it's just the usual problem of people projecting their own problems. Also medication only works for about 70% of people with ADHD and not everyone has the glorious epiphany you have (congrats tho!)
Also I wonder, like in my case, my DMN is rather strong and annoying... Combined with high empathy (confirmed medically kinda now due to the stupid ASD screening) it's a rather hard-mode life for me.
This idea - found via @fj and @temptoetiam - to install solar panels between train tracks strikes me as ridiculous
Railway tracks are grimy. Things fall off trains, like melting snow mixed with grit in winter. You can't incline the panels. How are you going to keep the panels clean enough? Because you absolutely don’t want to stop the train traffic to do it
rts.ch/info/regions/neuchatel/…
La première centrale solaire sur rails de Suisse inaugurée dans le canton de Neuchâtel
C'est un projet inédit en Suisse: la première centrale solaire amovible sur une voie ferrée ouverte au trafic ferroviaire a été inaugurée jeudi à Buttes, dans le canton de Neuchâtel.Radio Télévision Suisse
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I'm honestly not sure – perhaps I'm just too early on the Dunning-Kruger curve. 😀
But I'm intrigued that you – who should know a lot about railways – does not come up with better arguments on why this is a bad idea.
So far in this thread the only major problem I've seen mentioned is tamping. It would seem to make the solution useless except perhaps for tracks with very low/light use.
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@christineburns Good question, I was wondering about that too. It was mostly the Telegraph who covered it, but they actually did a pretty good job, and I think things even changed as a result.
Yes, I think we can count it.
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To quote para 7 of the judgement
"7. We also use the expression “biological sex” which is used widely, including in the judgments of the Court of Session, to describe the sex of a person at birth, and we use the expression “certificated sex” to describe the sex attained by the acquisition of a GRC."
So, sex assigned at birth and entered on (original) birth certificate. Which is administrative rather than actually biological.
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One thing I did NOT expect from ADHD meds: much easier to put my contact lenses in.
I guess my eyes are no longer darting about all over the place.
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for you sarah i will write to my garbage MP. although in echo of the above, she has never responded to any of my previous correspondence and in a mystery shopper exercise had the worst response rate of any mp in the liverpool city region (maria eagle).
I truly do not believe this.
I just watched a video about somebody's parrot, or some similar birb. Said birb had been plucking it's feathers and the owner said it was a hormonal issue and the vet had given it Lupron.
Lupron is a puberty blocker. Parrots have more fucking rights than trans kids
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Possible, but IIUC plucking is usually a stress issue.
Still, the fact that it's easier to get for a parrot than a kid is quite something.
Elvanse LOWERING my BP
It’s supposedly at risk of doing the opposite.
How bloody stressed was I before?
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Still not got a good answer to the question of how neurotypicals have fun.
Like, it has recently come to my attention that you lot get a dopamine reward for picking up your socks off the floor and putting them away. I have now experienced this and, wow! Yeah. Very cool! Neat trick you have there.
So why spend money on leisure activities when you can just pick shit up?
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@Kincaid Honestly it feels pretty good to me.
But I guess I’ve been on starvation rations for 51 years.
@Kincaid Update: yeah. Ok. Fair enough.
The novelty of ANY hit at all was quite a thing at first. Now I appreciate your point.
@Kincaid Laundry pile is smaller.
Look, I've seriously been STARVING my entire life. A biscuit is a banquet.
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It’s really starting to hit me now. All those years I wasn’t lazy. I wasn’t deliberately obstructive. I wasn’t thoughtless. I wasn’t careless. I wasn’t a deliberate arsehole.
My neurology literally wouldn’t let me slow down, do stuff, talk quieter, not interrupt, not go from 0 to “temper tantrum” in 2 seconds, remember where I put the thing I was holding 1 second ago. Not want to end people for talking too slowly.
One pill fixes it all. One sodding pill.
51 years.
There’s more grieving to come here, I think. A lot more.
And no, everyone is NOT “a little bit ADHD”. You have no bloody idea.
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@Ghost of Hope 🏳️⚧️ Heart failure in extreme old age probably fine.
They will get weird if they think you might have cardiac issues.
Woman who believes vaccines cause autism also believes thing above her bed catches bad dreams
A woman has defended her decision not to vaccinate her children due to autism fears, and insists she sleeps ‘fine at night thank you very much’ due to the dream catcher which she hangs …NewsThump
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First few days on Elvanse and wow! This stuff is honestly astonishing.
If you’re seeing this on Bluesky it’s auto cross posted from fedi. Breaks might be in odd places.
It’s essentially created two versions of me. There is medicated me who is a competent adult and can Just Do Stuff and unmedicated me who is mot, and cannot (but who is fun and lovely and is the version writing this).
On the way up the transition between the two is smooth and continuous.
On the way down it is not. I can feel it starting to fade over above half and hour then it reaches some critical level and o spend 10-15 minutes just crashing.
And then I’m the person writing this again, but a bit dazed and bewildered.
I’m hoping this will get smoother. At the moment it leads to almost a discontinuity in personality, but only on the way down, where afterwards I simply cannot conceive of being the person I just was.
I think I need to get into the habit, before it wears off, of leaving myself something nice for just after the crash.
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You know the worst thing about today's ruling? It doesn't take into account the primal, overwhelming power of - and I'm going to use the old term - gender dysphoria.
Most cis folk haven't experienced it, though many cis queer peeps know what I mean from a different context. The compulsion to live free or die. I wouldn't be alive now if I hadn't transitioned.
The lucky ones transition before they get there but the rest of us hit a point in our lives where it's transition or die and that's not hyperbole. I always wanted to see a world where transition happened for all before that point, because I barely made it through. That hope is pretty much gone.
Call us mentally-ill if you like. I don't care. I live, or I don't. For the sake of preventing some vile people feeling a bit uncomfortable, you've put our lives in real danger, judges of the Supreme Court.
You're disgusting bigots and any remaining respect I once had for the law has gone. We're outlaws again.
Please boost this unless you don't give a shit.
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Elvanse!
NO FUCKING WAY!
I had radiotherapy from someone who turned out to be a TERF.
That still gives me shivers sometimes.
At work, in a hospital, treating a politician whose views I find odious, with a wire literally inside his heart. Thought for a second about how I could kill the prick and no-one would ever know, it would just be complications. Sometimes I still feel guilty that I didn't.
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Searching for hydrochloric acid on amazon.
It offers me sodium hypochlorite.
Fuck's actual sake
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I chain drink decaff Twinnings Everyday, have deliveries of coffee beans from Decadent Decaff and for at the Hackspace keep decaf Nescafe Azure. That mostly keeps me ticking.
Not all the decaffs are equal. That took a few goes. Some brands put a bit more care into it than others. And if you're shopping at supermarkets, I've noticed you have to go to the larger ones to get access to more than one brand on the shelf.
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Filing under “fun realisations about ADHD”
We probably pretty much never make threads on r/AmITheAsshole
Because we already know.
I think there are healthy and unhealthy sources of dopamine, varied in degree and with who you are.
Heroin is mostly-bad but part-good, Reddit is all-bad.
Just got a letter from local Lib Dem’s.
It was insipid as fuck
So I voted green
Morning musing
Seeing so many in the US thinking the courts or the Senate are going to save them from Trump. My view? It's too late, you're in a dictatorship.
How do dictatorships end?
1. Death of the dictator, natural or otherwise
2. Military coup/civil war
3. Popular uprising
4. War loss and occupation
1 - the best bet, I think. You've killed several Presidents, go get him. Failing that, he's getting old
2 - I think it's unlikely. The US military are accustomed to seeing the President as their commander. I could be wrong. Secession is impossible without the local military on board
3 - it's an option but it's going to need a lot more people and it needs to move to general strike and even revolution
4 - not gonna happen, it's the US
Anyway, the courts and the Senate are worth pursuing but they're delaying tactics at best. You're looking at one of the above for freedom and I think you need to plan for that. I know it's daunting but it is what it is.
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The problem of option 1 is that Trump isn't the organ-grinder, and there's a replacement monkey standing by.
I think 3 is the most viable of the options, though there's also the long-shot possibility that internal divisions could cause the whole thing to implode.
@KatS
I'm not sure. I think it would fall apart without him. He's not the brains of the outfit but he's the centre of it.
Doesn't matter to me. I'm not on dot social, I'm not in the US and I'm never going to the US.
About to start my Elvanse titration.
No alcohol or caffeine for 3 months.
Oof!
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Went out for dinner with Zoe’s parents. Shut down at the end as I tend to do.
Then had to walk back home through the city centre which was a riot of overstimulation and horrific. Just needed to get away so I walked really fast.
Every time I did this before I was like, “what the fuck is wrong with me? Why am I like this?” And I’d get angry with myself and that would often devolve into an argument.
But I now know exactly why I’m like this.
And it isn’t my fault.
And there was no argument.
May I present the glory that is seat 2A on a Ryanair 737-8200.
They only charge like 30 euros for this.
Or do you?
images.app.goo.gl/fwtNc1Xwd67d…
@@MyKomment While that Alaska Max had a door plug blow out, the 8200s don't have those, and that's the main door.
I think it's good. Safest place to be is right at the back but fuck that. I want my green chicken curry early.
Oh, news. Said on Bsky but not here.
I have combination inattentive/hyperactive ADHD, officially.
I'm going to be starting treatment.
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Hope it helps.
If you're able to, can I be a bother and ask some questions? Did you do right to choose and if so who did you go with?
I'm looking for recommendations since I had such a horrible time on the NHS, requested ICB funding for assessment outside local MH services.
Yeah it's a shit deal sometimes.
I went with NHS but am now on complaint#2. First assessment was with a yr 1 specialist GP in training, no supervisor, claimed I had the inattentive bits but no hyperactive so said it wasn't ADHD. Complained, got "second opinion" with consultant who said he thought I had ASD and refused to even discuss ADHD without school reports.
... Yup. I'm pretty sure a care plan shouldn't be "Akkikins will come back with school reports.
I refuse to see her until she produces school reports.
I've referred her for ASD assessment"
ASD questionnaires came back very unlikely to point not put on waiting list (AQ50 6/50, cambs behavioural empathy score of 69/80) so... Guess I was right? But refusal to assess me properly. Yay.
Anyway, also considering private.
Watched S03E01 of Amazon’s Wheel of Time thing.
Well, it was on while I played with my phone.
Problem with streaming series is they don’t have enough material to fill the seasons they’re given so instead of filler episodes we’re moving to entire filler seasons.
It’s just boring. It’s all boring.
And with years between seasons, nobody can remember what is actually supposed to be happening.
Let’s get back to TV where they get the fuck on with it.
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How do you have filler when you're adapting a 14-brick series?
(I watched S1 then was disinclined to renew my Prime subscription)
Imagine standing in that queue to have your photo taken against a wall while 8 trans women are watching, judging you.
We'd just been in the pub, by the way. Some of us use our time better.
It isn't even the location from the film. That's between platforms 4 and 5 because Rowling is a hack.
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Previous posts on ADHD and food/hunger generated a bit of confusion I think.
Let me see if I can explain. I'm currently making a cheese sandwich because the dishwasher needs emptying.
Does that make sense?
@Jo Dusepo جوهانا دوسپو Like doomscrolling. You know. When you’re bored? You need something to do?
We are always bored.
And housework is so boring it hurts.
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@Llwynog From the copy of this on Bsky:
Honestly, it’s just pervasive. Attitudes to snacking. The idea that unloading the dishwasher doesn’t have to be soul destroying. That listening to someone talking slowly doesn’t have to be enraging. That holding on to transient thoughts is possible. That you can stop the music. That you can just DO something even if it’s not urgent or interesting. That emotions aren’t zero or a million decibels. That hyperfocus isn’t a thing for them. That it’s not a constant fight against self loathing for not doing the thing. That they can just switch off. That telling someone that something that’s bothering them isn’t that important is actually supposed to help rather than annoy. That you don’t have to constantly seek approval that you’ll never get. That burnout doesn’t have to be a sword of Damocles.
And so on and so on.
@llwynog what, you mean people don't battle almost every day at work forcing themselves to do stuff and beating themselves up for all the stuff they didn't manage? That they're not expecting to be fired for all the work that didn't happen, and dreading the call that never comes?
Also in retrospective it shows that a lot of work isn't actually important bc no-one notices when you don't do it. Although I am very good at doing other things that get some attention so that helps.
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Why does all the personal funding require current enrollment in school? Why are all the internships only for students? Why do those certain jobs only hire recent graduates?
Age discrimination for exploitative employment of children under thirty
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This happened within 10 minutes of a single espresso. Just before my mind was racing.
Anyway, less than 2 weeks until my ADHD diagnosis appointment.
Want to understand me?
This is me
Dave Smith
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