The right being lost isn’t the right to play sports. It’s the right to equality.

And it’s great that your for something that isn’t going to happen in our lifetimes. But in the mean time, trans people have to navigate the situation we do have.

at what point did i suggest rolling back rights for anyone?

When you said we should accept our removal from sports, and that we should be open to exclusion from the ability to use bathrooms in public.

As I said though, this conversation is an example of why you don’t see the behaviour you’re asking for. It’s because the responses always look like yours.

It’s using quad bayer. Which basically means it’s a 25MP sensor that can act as a faux 100MP sensor. When it does that, you get more detail, but more noise. Which means it will have really good low light performance for a drone at 25MP, and if you give up the noise reduction, you’ll get more definition out of it than you would from a regular 25MP sensor. But the 100MP sensor mode won’t come close to the clarity you’d get from a genuine 100MP mirrorless camera sensor

Which is to say, it will be revolutionary for drone photographers, but not that impressive if you’re comparing it to dedicated photography gear

not everyone is able to follow the same news sources and some people who only get infomation on social media are subject to waves of propaganda news articles.

I very much understand that. However, this conversation is a classic example of the fact that even being told those statistics and having the context made clear, doesn’t actually change anything.

You may not have a desire to engage with those people and thats totally understandable, but there should be some people who are allies, who are able to engage in those types of conversations

There are. Lots of them! It’s why I am defensive with you, because despite the existence of folk like that, you don’t see them, and instead categorise trans people as largely being “all or nothing”. You are part of the group you were just talking about. The group that isn’t exposed to the right content, and instead, only knows what they see in an actively transphobic media and social media environment.

And as I said earlier, you won’t shift your opinion, you won’t ease off and stop fighting me, to become one of those people that helps trans folk. Instead, you’ll fight me, for daring to take issue with your framing of the situation, whilst blaming me for it at the same time.

Right now we are literally having everyone’s rights rolled back because thats how fascists like Trump act when you stand up to them

That’s our common ground right there. Yet instead of talking about that, you’re suggesting that actually, giving in and being ok with some of those rollbacks might be ok, as long as its trans people!

If you want allyship against facism, focus on the facism, rather than demanding that your allies capitulate to it

there is no suggestion being made here

Yes there is. I asked you what you think compromise looks like in real world terms

You replied with this

So a specific compromise would be when someone says that they accept transwomen as people deserving of respect and dignity, but i dont think they should be allowed to compete in professional sports as women, you dont call them a bigot or refuse to engage with them. Its saying "could you think of a way to esure womens safety that doesnt assume all trans people are sexual predators? " when they say women should be able to feel safe in locker rooms.

That is quite explicitly a suggestion. Or rather, two suggestions.

In this suggestion, you use the word “women” as if it doesn’t apply to trans women. ie, you say “women’s safety” when you clearly means cis women’s safety. Dangerous, because it normalises the attack on trans women that they aren’t women. And dangerous because it implies that trans women are a risk to cis women, when in fact, trans women are more at risk of sexual assault and violence than cis women are! There is danger here, but it’s not coming from the trans women, and framing it as if it is, and as if that is something that should be compromised on is dangerous to trans people.

There is no compromise, when that compromise involves having our safety ignored, and our rights rolled back. That’s not compromise.

That’s because your client is caching it.

Yeah, future federation is absolutely a possibly.

Your statement seems to imply you think i disagree with you

You do. You are suggesting that trans people should offer to exclude themselves and give up our rights, because demanding equality is too much.

I am expressing concern about how other peoples actions will cause more negative pushback

Giving up some of our rights, rights that everyone else has, to appease the folk who enjoy those rights, when we are the ones more at risk of violence, and exclusion is not a viable middle ground like you seem to be implying it is.

Your framing of that as “all or nothing” means I very much disagree with you. You may think trans folk deserve rights and dignity, but you don’t believe trans people deserve the same rights as cis people

I’m Australian. I say something closer to “buh”, but I introduce vibrato to the sound down near my vocal cords, rather than by trilling the R in my mouth

The person who posted that has been banned from this instance, because they were a transphobic troll. Notice how they didn’t come in trying to talk to you or offer any empathy to your side? They just came out you aggressively, and framing you as awful and bad? That’s because their goal wasn’t to help you, it was to hurt you. That’s why they were banned.

And honestly, you have the right approach here. This is all new, and you’re navigating a complex situation. This isn’t about getting on to HRT, or giving yourself timelines and deadlines. This is about navigating a situation that helps you get to the point where you need to be, whilst considering your families needs as you do.

If it’s ever about repressing your own needs completely, or hiding the truth of who you are from your family, you’ve got the balance wrong. If you are doing things without considering your family at all, you’ve got the balance wrong. The balance is doing things that take you closer to where you need to be, and bringing your family along with you as you do. And sometimes that means going slowly. And sometimes it doesn’t. That’s the part only you and they can know.

And for what it’s worth, I transitioned at 41, with an 11 year old. I was told lots of scary stories. Even my mother, who is otherwise super accepting, worried about the “lack of a father figure” and whether they would be teased or harassed at school. But I was always angry. I was living on top of this simmering anger that just impacted everything. And that anger came from repression. The truth was, if I didn’t address that, I wasn’t going to have a relationship with my kid, because my repression was going to fuck it up with 100% certainty.

Since coming out, my kiddo has come out as gay and then as gender diverse themselves. They were teased at school, but not about me, but they also became the leader of the schools LGBT group, and formed many lasting friendships. They’re turning 20 in a couple of weeks time, and I have a relationship with them that wouldn’t have been possible if I’d have remained closed off and angry.

I know this is a lot, but in general, cis people talking about this, without direct experience, rarely know what they’re talking about, because all they have to go in are the stories they encountered growing up in a transphobic society. That includes your wife and the rest of your family! The difference between your wife and family and everyone else, is that you can be part of the process of changing their perspectives, because you can show them just what difference it makes when you can get repressing out of your life, and live honestly.

Take it as slowly as you need, and get all the help you can on the way! And whatever you do, make sure you’re doing it honestly and authentically!

Also, based on some messages I got from users

No, it’s not.

Let me ask you a question. Is teaching a kid to repress and hide who they are for the sake of other people something you want to teach them? Especially if they’re queer themselves? 'cause that’s what hiding yourself teaches them.

You’re not a lbz user. The user you’re replying to is. This impacts her, not you.

“I think people should have respect” isn’t something you can say when the thing that follows is a list of arguments to exclude those very same people.

Even your framing highlights why trans folk are so frustrated. You talk about women’s safety, as if trans women aren’t part of that discussion, and on top of that, you completely brush over the fact that trans women are even more likely to be victims of violence and sexual assault than cis women.

And your response is that trans folk should just be OK with that, they should just compromise by accepting that their needs are viewed as less important than the needs of cis folk, and just silently accept exclusion.

The truth is, rights are won through social push back and confrontation. They are fought for, because they don’t just get handed over otherwise. Especially when there is political capital in exclusion.

I’m also going to highlight that despite engaging with you in good faith, you almost certainly haven’t become more accepting, and in fact have most likely become more entrenched in your position as you consider comebacks to my points.

That’s why

I want the community to have a choice. Federation lets people have that choice.

Not quite. I grew up with a lot of racism that took time to undo and is still ongoing.

But that didn’t impact my kiddo directly as they’re not targetted by racism.

However, I found out that I’m adhd due to my kid being diagnosed, and I was out as queer before them. So we have intersections in common that we’ve both been working through at the same time.

Literally no one thinks cis women and trans women are the same, so your compromise doesn’t mean anything in and of itself.

I’m asking you what your position means in real world terms. What are the consequences of these differences? Because that’s what really matters.

Feigned outrage because I asked you for specifics seems counter to your stated goals of reaching compromise and makes me question your motives.

It’s a transphobic dog whistle. Popularised by UK transphobes. The implication is that trans women aren’t women, and when you see it used, that’s what they’re really saying.

FYI, I won’t be able to see any responses to this comment chain from feddit.uk users or admins unless I manually watch it off instance. I’ll try and do so, but I won’t see pings etc.

In any case, to address Emperor’s comment, to avoid defederation and give the feddit.uk time to work it out, all it would have taken was a single response to my messages stating that it’s being discussed by the admin team. Instead, despite twice highlighting that this is an issue important enough to defederate over, I got radio silence, whilst Emperor continued to post elsewhere. Even if it were not the intent, it came across as a deliberate choice to ignore my messages.

Federation will be re-enabled if they ultimately address the issue.

No. I won’t start a brigade against a specific user, even a transphobic one. And ultimately, the defederation is due to the feddit.uk admins approach to transphobia rather than the specifics of the posts.